11-8-3
The shadow has passed. The eclipse removes its dark veil to reveal an even brighter full moon. Time to begin the Journey. I go to my Elven home in Oberon’s village. Tatiana has sent a request that I journey on this night. She has given some small Visions of what I will encounter in the Faery Ring, but none else. I know it will, in some Way, provide a spiral connection from West to North – one step higher. I know it will be a type of Vortex or Wyrmhole of Faery Energy, but that’s all. I am being called to hold a substantial amount of trust, and I agree.
Leaving my home, I am escorted to the Ring by the Oberon’s Captain of the Guard. The night is filled with clamor, loud voices, a curious blending of energies that fill me with anxiety, excitement, and some fear… it isn’t all positive what I’m hearing. As we near the Ring, I see Tatiana waiting for me at the Door. We enter the Ring: the Captain, Tatiana and I. Many, many Elves are lined around the Ring – inside and out. There is some outrage of my being allowed to Use the Ring, in this Way – no Human but Merlin has ever been given permission to their knowledge. There are bets being made on my even Using the Ring, because the Power that is emanating from It is so overwhelming that Fear can easily outweigh the Curiosity. Of course, I’m curious. But, more, I am doing this at the Offering of Tatiana, in order to follow my Path as I see it, as I feel is right, and as She agrees. She allows for all the commotion; but no interference – no one questions the Queen. There are bets on my surviving the Journey, and the point at which I will turn back, or die. None of this bothers either Tatiana or the Captain. They lead me to the Edge of the Vortex in the middle of the Ring. It looks like a rainbow whirlpool, a flowing energy reminiscent of the Spirit place I have visited. But I can see nothing beyond, within, or beneath it.
I am not listening, anymore, to the bets, catcalls, and such. I am focused on stepping into the Vortex. Even though this is all by Tatiana’s approval, the ceremony requires her to ask, “Who will vouch for this human?” The crowd grows quiet in anticipation. Suddenly, I feel Spirit Guides on either side of me, with hands on either shoulder. I realize that Satch is on one side and Merlin is on the other. “We will,” they both say. And so, with them encouraging me, I stick my toes in, not being one who dives into anything, and hesitate at the Edge. Tatiana encourages me to go on. “It’s ok, really. You are ready, or I would not have offered this to you. Go.” And so, I jump in.
I am engulfed by this rainbow-energy vortex current, dropping farther and farther away from the Ring. I am lost to direction, anyway. Although cognitively I know I’m all right, I am holding my breath. I’m afraid to breathe. Even though I know this Ether is made of Spirit – the air of Heaven, so to speak – still, I am afraid to breathe. Somewhere inside, I don’t think I’m as ready as Tatiana believes. But, I know I have to let go. Breathe. And so, I do. In spasms. Allowing myself small bits of changing from oxygen to breathing the strange rich-fluid-spirit stuff. Almost like allowing myself to drown cognitively. Finally, I begin breathing in the Spirit “air” without so much seizure-like resistance. And I release to the current.
I know now that I never calmed down enough to just “be” in the present, and that might have helped make it a smoother journey, but that’s part and parcel of me. I still hold my intent to complete the spiral cycle, one step higher. I keep vigilant within the Spirit current. Soon, I notice a “hole” above me, and go to see if this is my departure point. I come up through the hole, and see that it has manifested as a 3-foot open circle in the ice over a lake. It is winter and extremely cold. Around the circle sit a group of men all clothed in winter coats and outerwear, reminding me of Wisconsin ice-fishermen. I realize that this is not my “stop” at all, and re-submerge into the Spirit current.
I travel farther in the Spirit current (I’m not swimming, just allowing the current to draw me, which is plenty fast enough). Another “departure point” appears, and I step from the Vortex. This time it is a warm lake from a previous mystical Journey where I had briefly met Stag, as an animal Guide. It is also the place where I had freed a Jade Dragon by pouring lake water from a silver ladle onto a nearby mossy-looking boulder. She had said at that time, “I will come back when you are ready.” And, indeed, she is here. She gives me a ride to her Cavern, and gently lands atop her amazing pile of gold coin and treasure. She curls up to provide me with a warm resting place, as I still feel quite damp and chilly from the previous “stop”. I don’t lie still long, though. I’m interested in exploring this Cavern… it isn’t the final destination. I know that. Neither are the coins and treasure of any use, or interest, to me. There is something here that draws me, and I intend to discover what it is.
“Most sojourners who get this far are content with what is here,” She whispers. Kind of curious, I think … trying to imagine how a dragon can speak in a cavern in a whisper that barely touches the ears. She replies with quiet humor, “Spiritual voice to spiritual ear doesn’t require much ‘sending’ or ‘volume’ at all.” Then I think about what she has spoken, about being content. “Lady Dragon, you have a nice home, and all”, I say, “but I need to follow my Knowing of the Current and my Destination.” As I walk deeper into the Cavern, I find an opalescent Pool. “This is where the Current touches, isn’t it?” I ask, in a rhetorical sense. She looks at me, as if re-assessing her estimate of me. “Yes; and good fortune be with you as you travel. Perhaps you can stay longer some other time.” I tell her that I would enjoy visiting for tea and flying at some later date. I jump into the Pool.
This time I come out in the midst of the Northern Village of Elf-women who had originally led my Initiation over 15 years ago. I feel the familiarity of the Place, and the welcoming aspect, but a difference. I realize everything is indistinct in an incredibly white glare. It’s hard to even keep my eyes open to it. I think perhaps it is sun-glare off of snow and ice, but I can’t tell, and I feel my mind beginning to numb from the light. I see that I am now dressed in what appear to be white buckskins – head to toe – with my white hair braided in small strands, filled with feathers, acorns, leaves and tiny flowers. And then, I realize… I have wings! Wings! And I am torn between elation and confusion, as my mind still seeks refuge from whatever it is encountering. I feel as if I am being drained – at some level – and pulled into darkness. I realize (or am given realization) that there are black energy lines connected to my head. I know I need to let go. In a burst of anger, I tear them out – one by one, until I am free of them. I feel like I am about to pass out.
Suddenly, I feel Satch’s hand upon my shoulder, practically picking me up (and maybe he did – maybe some kind of teleporting, I don’t know) … and he looks white, too. Then, we are as suddenly stepping through his doorway, and as he “closes” his Door, everything returns to calmer, everyday colors for me. “Just for a while”, he says, “but the White is real and you need time to adjust and acclimate yourself to this higher energy level.” He tucks me into bed, and turns out the light.
When I wake up later, he fixes some green tea (I guess…) and brings it over to me. “You need to rest for now, to allow your Self to coalesce and re-integrate. It will be a while before you go traipsing around by yourself. Enjoy the vacation.” I can feel the smile behind his words, and the serious concern in his heart.